A teacher in Michigan removed the word “gay” from the Christmas Carol, Deck the Halls, replacing the line with “don we now our bright apparel.” Parents are up in arms about this, believing no one should actually be offended by a song from the 16th century when the word had a completely different. I, for one, am also offended, but mainly because I believe that we really do don our gay apparel at Christmas. Here’s me and my roommate Kevin Last Christmas…

Pretty, pretty gay. If it was the middle of July, you’d probably only see this guy out trolling on Santa Monica Blvd in West Hollywood, but at Christmas? He looks like he’s in the military! 

Every Christmas we listen to nsync, Mariah Carey, and even Wham! When else during the calendar year would listening to something like this not make us gay? I even found myself watching 20 minutes of Glee only because it was a Christmas episode. We care more about decorating our houses than ever before and total strangers can show up on your door step and start singing and it’s completely normal! Men bake cookies, drink fruity and colorful drinks, and stuff their mouth’s with the icing from a gingerbread man. All of the other reindeer used to laugh at Rudolph and call him names, just cause of one little glowing red nose, but a reindeer named Prancer gets away scott-free? 

The music teacher at Cherry Knoll elementary school in Michigan said she decided to change the lyrics because the students kept snickering and giggling every time they sang it and that it didn’t matter that it has alternate meanings. Well, who wants to be the one to get these kids giggling year round and teach them the alternate meaning for the word cherry?